As a Florida State University student, you are programmed early on to do two things: the borderline-racist “tomahawk chop”, and hate the rival University of Florida Gators. Now well I am new to this rivalry, and don’t claim to actually hate UF, I do play along, and I managed to enter and win a contest that FSU had which was the following: Explain why the University of Florida Sucks. Here is my prize-winning, if not somewhat illogical poem:

Take a moment and listen,
if you have the time,
about why I hate the gators,
told in a little rhyme.

They really think they’re special,
all decked out in orange and blue,
I agree they can be okay,
served as gator stew.

They aren’t the brightest bunch in the world,
I mean take a look at that chomp,
not to mention the little fact,
that they’re slowly sinking in a swamp.

I might take a trip to Gainesville
I heard it’s Florida’s pearl,
besides the fact there’s nothing to do
and it’s filled with ugly girls.

University of Florida,
obviously second rate,
sure they win a game now and then,
but how many athletes graduate?

They may have our number in football,
But this I must decree.
A more queer thing I haven’t heard,
than a leak and a teabag at QB.

While you could go to Florida,
and be a Florida Gator,
I’m sorry to say that a degree from there,
only qualifies you as a waiter.

So that’s why I hate Florida,
so many reasons I can’t recall,
the best place for a Florida Gator,
is mounted on my wall.

So that is it. My question is as follows: why are the rivalries between American schools so intense? Why do people make an effort to hate other universities? Is it all due to sports? Why is it so much more intense than the rivalry among, say, Canadian universities? Sure there are some inter-city or inter-region rivalries like Ottawa and Carleton, and Brock and MacMaster, but these seem to pale in comparison. At a bar in Tallahassee I frequented, every Saturday night the festivities eventually devolved into an unfriendly competition between the Florida Gator “chomp” and the FSU “chop”, and many fights resulted. The chants and attitudes of rival fans within stadiums and arenas can be quite brutal as well. Are these crazy rivalries a good thing?

That isn’t to say that such behaviour does not exist in Canada, as anyone who has been to a University of McGill hockey game in Montreal can attest.