Getting More Fired in Korea
Those of you that have worked in Korea are aware that the dynamic of faculty relationships in the school workplace can be foggy at best. The fact that you must use a different verb tense depending on the age and position of the person you are talking with is just the start of the complexities of dealing with co-workers in Korea.
And then there’s something called “noon-chi”. We were warned about this concept during the orientation for this job. Noon-chi can loosely be defined as intuition, in that Korean people will not address their concerns directly with you, but instead you must be able to infer what they are thinking. Good luck with that.
It is clear from this situation that I and my soon-to-be axed coworker are lacking in the noon-chi department. But if “noon-chi” prescribes our co-worker smiling and acting friendly to our faces, but then going behind our back and convincing the principal to fire one of us without her input, and then continuing to act friendly, then evidently I want no part of it. Noon-chi seems like an easy way out for a coward to avoid being honest and acting like an adult.
If you are coming to Korea, or already in Korea, there are some lessons that you can take from this story. Don’t take anything that is told to you at work at face value. It sounds cynical, but noon-chi is the opposite of honesty. Be careful about the relationships you form at work, especially with the opposite sex. A friend of mine told me a story about a female co-worker he had had major problems with this semester. When he turned down her advances, she began to work to get him fired by creating false stories and going to the principal with them. Another friend’s friendship with a female coworker caused his colleagues to treat him very poorly and stop inviting him to school functions. So this type of thing happens frequently apparently.
Today my friend will meet with the principal to finally have her say (a bit late as she’s already been fired). Apparently the reason for her firing has now changed to the fact that she forgot to make a phone call two weeks ago to ask students why they were skipping our winter camp.
Your blog came up on a google alert.
“It sounds cynical, but noon-chi is the opposite of honesty. ”
This really isn’t the case. You haven’t been able to adapt to the cultural differences in Asia. The societies here are collective and the preservation of harmony is important. Do you wish a co-worker to act unfriendly toward you every day? Probably not. It would be counterproductive in all societies, even western ones.
Back home, do you consider all the people who are friendly with you to actually be your friends? Probably not, and I don’t understand why you would expect that to be the case here.
You have to judge this society and your situation from the good/evil of the situation, not as how the situation would be dealt with from where you came.
I don’t know your situation but many of the problems people have stems from the fact that they don’t know how to complain correctly, and their contiual ignorance of the culture causes a loss of face for many of the workers in the school.
“Noon-chi seems like an easy way out for a coward to avoid being honest and acting like an adult.”
Are you honest when your girlfriend says “Do I look fat in this dress?” or “What do you think of my new hairdo?”
I understand that in my situation our co-worker is trying to preserve the harmony in our English staff by firing my friend, and prevent himself and others from losing face by not discussing it with her at all.
If this is how they do it in Asia, then I don’t want to adapt to the culture. My friend may get to keep her job because she discussed the matter honestly and candidly with all of the parties involved. Forget noon-chi, whatever that is.
I’m not sure why I would want anyone to act unfriendly to me every day, I don’t quite understand that point. But I think it is worse for someone to act friendly to my face every day even though they are actually mad at me. And then instead of being honest about why… they just fire me?
I am unsure about your interpretation of my writing – I don’t expect everyone in Korea to be my friend. This situation is more about my friend that is getting fired than me.
I am not judging this society, I am just judging my situation and giving examples of other situations. Also, dealing with this situation as it would be dealt with back home may in fact prove to rectify it for all parties (i.e. the collective). Firing someone for “the collective” benefit really ignores the fact that the person being fired is part of the collective.
Unfortunately I disagree with your last two points. The other situations I mentioned have nothing to do with complaining properly, my friends are just being treated unfairly.
And I’ll leave it to you to let your girlfriend walk around in a dress or a haircut that makes her look silly.
Frankie –
My interpretation of the blog entry was that neither the author nor his Korean friend were aware that their friendship was upsetting the so-called “harmony” in their workplace. Suddenly, out of nowhere, the female teacher was fired.
I don’t see how you can accuse the author of being unable to adapt to the cultural differences in Asia. That would mean that the Korean woman who got fired has ALSO been unable to adapt to life in her own culture. Unless of course you are arguing that as a Korean she must have known she’d be fired for befriending a foreign coworker, but did it anyway.
I think he was simply trying to say that if their friendship was making people at the school uncomfortable they should have simply mentioned it to them directly a long time ago to prevent things from escalating. Instead, they fired someone who sounds like a great teacher and upset an foreign English teacher the government has invested millions of Won in. Pretty sure that isn’t a constructive way of handling things in any country.
I could go on, but what I’m saying is that your response made little sense. Maybe that’s just because I’m not as enlightened as you seem to think you are though.
Well he is right in one sense – I am having difficulty adapting to this culture. I really don’t know what noon chi is. It just seems like a convenient way to avoid having difficult conversations with people.
Like when i was dumped over Facebook.
I actually think you might be on to something with my young Korean friend not understanding her own culture, I think there is a Grand Canyon-esque generation gap that we are dealing with…
b-dogg,
sorry to hear about your friend getting fired. You have every right to be angry and frustrated over this. This whole 눈치 and save-face/lose-face is something I don’t get, won’t get and prolly never get even I live here the rest of my life. I don’t know if you did or not, but you could vent your frustations to your principal/co-teachers and express disappointment. But that could make things worse too…
It’s a tough situation for you to be in. Hope things can work out in the end.
Bri-
Keep on keeping on. There are prejudices no matter where you are/work/live, but you’re one person who I know is bigger than this event and I also know that you will be able to help her through this. Keep us updated.
Hey Matt – thanks for the advice. Unfortunately my VP and Principle both don’t speak a word of English. But all may not be lost.
Thanks Sarah – I’ll do my best. I see you have a new blog?! I look forward to reading it so muchee.. (as they say in Korea)