Korean Dating Series Finale
All right so way back when I asked a few of my foreign English teaching friends what the dating scene was like in Seoul for Western girls and boys. I got an overwhelming 8 responses … here is the final one, which is unedited like all the rest. I hope this series has been interesting, I’d love to see a few comments! (For a look at all the other responses, click on the Teaching English link beside my “Goals for Korea).
Elizabeth Carruthers*, Female Aged 20-25, Canadian.
What are Korean men like? I’ve given my number to a couple of Korean guys, and I’ve found that within a few hours they’ve texted me with messages such as “i miss u already! *.* ” or, “where r u? lets have a meeting! = ) ” They are pretty stalkerish, actually. Some people might say attentive, but I think it’s a little creepy. And if you don’t answer right away you get 5 more texts asking what’s wrong, don’t you remember me, etc. They also ask pretty personal questions early on, but that’s what all Koreans do. And this isn’t personal experience, but I’ve heard from a couple of girls that Korean guys think that Western women are all, how can I say it, like sex with no strings attached, so they act accordingly. That’s happened to two of my friends, where they thought they were dating a Korean and then found out he had a Korean girlfriend – and he couldn’t understand what the problem was. What is the dating scene like? I think its all about casual dating here, because at least for foreigners, Seoul is a very transient place. Most people are only here for one or two years, and aren’t looking for a serious relationship. And a lot of foreign guys want to date Korean girls, but most foreign girls don’t want to date Koreans. We think a lot of the guys here look really feminine. And, since talking is more important to women than men (to make a sweeping generalization), the language barrier is a bigger deal for them. But, most of the foreign guys I’ve spoken to have been really open about not wanting a relationship – or bluntly stated that all they want is sex. Not a good opening line! Is it easy to meet Korean/Foreign boys? I’d say it’s easier to meet foreign guys, but then again I’ve joined a football club that has 2 men’s teams attached to us… but I think its more difficult to meet Koreans just because a lot of them are really shy at first, and don’t want to speak English. Or they just want to use you for free English lessons. Meeting people is really easy here because most people who come to a foreign country to live are naturally outgoing. Being in a situation where you don’t know anyone also makes you more likely to speak to people, even if its just to ask for directions – I met a guy asking for directions and we ended up hanging out and eating dinner together. I didn’t end up dating him, but we’re friends now, and we just randomly met on the street. Wow, this ended up being so long! Sorry – I just went off on a tangent… Anyways, hope this helps 
*Pseudonym
Thanks for the hit back. I’m working on the kiwis- loading up on the vitty C.
Sounds like the classes you are taking are a lot easier since you have warm bodies teaching you and not a program.
Rosetta Stone is decent and essentially our only option with how secluded we are (there are no universities or Korean lessons bc there are no foreigners!) The biggest problem is you have to infer a lot of meaning from things you are looking at and saying. For example: you have a picture of a boy on the L and you say, “The boy has a pen.” The pic on the R has the same boy, but with a toy train. The vocab you have learned to this point is ‘boy’ and ‘pen’ and the text you are saying has both of those words but then says “op-so-yo” which you don’t know. Unless you are really with it, you are completely lost as to what that means. Then you find out 3 weeks later when a student keeps saying “Timmy op-so-yo” and Timmy is not in class that the picture was telling you the kid didn’t have a pen! Long explanation for the short of: sometimes it doesn’t make a lot of sense and you feel a bit mislead, but at least you’re learning something.
I’ve heard good stories and bad stories about Rosetta, some people swear by it, others find it a bit incomprehensible. Sounds like you lean toward the latter end. Have you tried the Korean Sogang Online Program? http://korean.sogang.ac.kr/ . It’s probably the best free source. I really enjoy my Korean classes .. while I feel lost in space much of the time it’s fun anyway.
Thanks for the site- I’ll definitely check that out!
Interesting post! I agree with Elizabeth about conversational skills being perhaps more important to women then to men.
I can’t find the other posts in your series though (even when I tried following the directions). If they’re still up, can you post a link? Thanks!
On the main page you can click on the “teaching English in a Korean public school” tab to find the rest… I guess that’s a misleading title.